the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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