I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
