So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
