his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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