they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just want nice things and good sex
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
