She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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