Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I died a long time ago.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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