she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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