i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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