I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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