I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Randomize
