No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
