you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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