I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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