So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
