Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
