in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
