If i come over, it means nothing
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
