How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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