I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
