If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
