im drinking this country out of the recession.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
