she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
