Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
PANTIES FOUND
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