dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
