Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
