i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
