so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
