if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
