woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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