she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
