omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
farters have to be the big spoon...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
