so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
