I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
