It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
