Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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