I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
