i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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