just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
