She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I still have a little drunk in my system
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
