we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
