BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
