i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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