Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
