once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The air taste purple.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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