i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
