he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
