you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
