apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
