I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
