i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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